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His Best Thing Pt II

August 9, 2009

In short, she didn’t mean anything to him other than good company on occasion. He didn’t give a f*ck.

I will admit, I’ve gotten caught up in the whole don’t give a f*ck trap myself. I once had a guy tell me that he knew I wanted to be romanced and wanted a guy that would swim the widest ocean, climb the highest mountain and under no circumstances was he going to ever do that. Instead of thanking him kindly for his time and getting the heck out of dodge I continued to date him. Why would your girl do that? Youth, estrogen the fact that he resembled a young Denzel Washington..I don’t know but the point is I stayed put. Surely he doesn’t mean that I thought. I rationalized away his intent and put my head down, intent on dating him because I liked him so much. Needless to say, that particular situation came back to haunt me, horribly. Why didn’t I listen? He didn’t give a f*ck.

Later in the song, Jay Z goes on to address some of the other women he was involved with before he married Queen Bee. He apologizes briefly and assures them that it wasn’t them it was him; he then wraps it all up by saying his new bride is the best out of them all. The second verse is just as important as the first. Just because a man may not see your worth in his life, doesn’t negate the jewel that you are. It simply means he’s not the right one for you. You don’t need to feel bad about you, or anything associated with you. Its not you. It may not necesarrily be him. Its just not the right fit. The longer you stay, the longer you delay the inevitable. He doesn’t give a f*ck.

Recently after sending another toad back to the pond, I felt a little bad about how everything played out. I had finally met a guy that embodied many of the traits I had written down on my vision board and it turned out I wasn’t the match he’d written on his. My Prince Charming candidate explained that he wasn’t interested in dating a girl that worked the type of job I do. This baffled me and my feelings were hurt because I thought he should’ve been able to see enough good in me to see past his bias against my job. Before I was able to settle into a mini pity party at the fact that one I really liked didn’t return my feelings, I prayed about it and moved on assured that this guy wasn’t the right one after all. He didn’t give a f*ck.

You see if you were to go to a luxury car dealer and take a Lexus, a BMW and a Mercedes all out for a test drive, unless you were a multi-millionaire chances are you’d have to make one choice and not leave with all three. So if I consider myself a Porsche Carerra and a man isnt into Porches, but instead is more of a Lexus man, does that make my Porche any less valuable? That would be a resounding no! Whatever the rest of the girls Jay Z dated were like didn’t matter. Back when he was dating them, he wasn’t ready so it didn’t matter. They shouldn’t compare themselves to Bee or wonder why he didn’t feel the same way about them as he does about his first lady, it just wasn’t meant to be. (no pun intended)

To wrap this all up, I want to encourage my sistas to be a listen more closely to what a man says. Watch with open eyes and judge his actions honestly. Don’t infuse you’re own interpretation to his words. In short listen to what he says, watch what he does. You’ll learn his intentions quickly. Most importantly if you see a man who is at the place in his life where he doesn’t give a f*ck, don’t try to wait it out or try to influence him to see you as wifey. You’re not his wifey. You’ll be waiting around untill he finds his “best thing”. If you’re lucky he may shout you out in a song later, but who wants that right? Run.

Smooches,
Christal

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